A couple of Saturdays ago, a friend told me that she has a friend that has a ritual of going to Fox&Hound every Thanksgiving because she can't spend it with her family. She said that this friend went to Fox&Hound with her group of her guy friends and her boyfriend. While they were there, her former boyfriend showed up and started to try to pick a fight with her current boyfriend. Apparently the former is Huge! So the current was doing everything to try not to get in a fight. But at some point, the former pushed her! And none of her friends nor her current defended her. They did nothing. My friend was as appalled as I was and she said to her friend -- if she had been there-- she would have slapped him for her! She said that it didn't matter how big he was, she wasn't going to let him push her around! DAMN RIGHT! Haven't these guys heard the saying "Strength in Numbers"?
Why did he do it?
Cause he knew he could.
When ever there is any kind of violence or aggression, the owners should step in as well. Are they the kind of establishment that allows this kind of behavior to go on?
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Dealing with loss
So-for the last couple of weeks-it has been Fine Arts Graduate Studio lectures where they present their thesis about their work, defend their work, and answer questions. I LOVE THESE!! I love to hear about other's work and their process. I love that they open the floor for questions too. I have gotten to go to 3 lectures this semester and I would have gone to more but they conflicted with my work schedule.
Anywho--
In 2 out of 3 lectures, the individuals were dealing with the loss of a close family member.
The first lecture was a ceramicist who was doing a lot of work based on parts of cars and working on cars--he talked about the open road of his drive home from Lubbock Texas to Tennessee--he used a lot of repetition in his work--told us he was talking about production--i say that like i dont believe him but that's not the case -- I just think there was more to it and that was when he said it-- 10 years ago his older brother died in a car crash--I was struck. I knew that he had lost a brother because he had gotten a tattoo of his name but I was trying to figure out if it was a older or younger brother and I had no idea it was in a car crash--i immediately thought about how horrible it would be to loose one of my brothers--I couldnt imagine
Then he told us that he NEVER keeps any of this work--he either destroys it or just discards it in the dumpster! In my mind- I made the connection that he was just reliving his brother's death over and over again--maybe not consciously--but he would make many beautiful pieces and then demise!
In the last lecture, a metalsmith started her talk with a fragmented childhood memory of her mother's death when she was just 6 years old. Her mother died of breast cancer and immediately she connected that with her feels of isolation and fear. And I felt her work did portray these feelings. She is about the same age as my older brother and they even know each other. I began to think about the loss of a parent and I dont know where I'd be if I didn't have my mom. My brother's and I have a father but not through illness. Well maybe a mental illness but nothing I think that could have been fixed with medication. And I begun to think about how my brother and I don't do work about loss. Are we ignoring it? Am I ignoring it? I feel as though we are better off but being with out both parents (and I'm not just talking about heterosexual parents) is always going to be the hardest option. Is it better to have no relationship than a sick one? I think so
Dealing with loss
So many factors are in play when it comes to behavior and reaction and interpretation.
Personalities
Gender Expectations
Racial Expectations
Family dynamic
Social Learning theories...
They were very emotional walks across campus to my car.
Anywho--
In 2 out of 3 lectures, the individuals were dealing with the loss of a close family member.
The first lecture was a ceramicist who was doing a lot of work based on parts of cars and working on cars--he talked about the open road of his drive home from Lubbock Texas to Tennessee--he used a lot of repetition in his work--told us he was talking about production--i say that like i dont believe him but that's not the case -- I just think there was more to it and that was when he said it-- 10 years ago his older brother died in a car crash--I was struck. I knew that he had lost a brother because he had gotten a tattoo of his name but I was trying to figure out if it was a older or younger brother and I had no idea it was in a car crash--i immediately thought about how horrible it would be to loose one of my brothers--I couldnt imagine
Then he told us that he NEVER keeps any of this work--he either destroys it or just discards it in the dumpster! In my mind- I made the connection that he was just reliving his brother's death over and over again--maybe not consciously--but he would make many beautiful pieces and then demise!
In the last lecture, a metalsmith started her talk with a fragmented childhood memory of her mother's death when she was just 6 years old. Her mother died of breast cancer and immediately she connected that with her feels of isolation and fear. And I felt her work did portray these feelings. She is about the same age as my older brother and they even know each other. I began to think about the loss of a parent and I dont know where I'd be if I didn't have my mom. My brother's and I have a father but not through illness. Well maybe a mental illness but nothing I think that could have been fixed with medication. And I begun to think about how my brother and I don't do work about loss. Are we ignoring it? Am I ignoring it? I feel as though we are better off but being with out both parents (and I'm not just talking about heterosexual parents) is always going to be the hardest option. Is it better to have no relationship than a sick one? I think so
Dealing with loss
So many factors are in play when it comes to behavior and reaction and interpretation.
Personalities
Gender Expectations
Racial Expectations
Family dynamic
Social Learning theories...
They were very emotional walks across campus to my car.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
women in the military
I heard from, my morning news source, the Uptake this morning, that there has been a report that has come out about women in the military. It reports that there has been an increase number of sexual assaults being reported by female soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. I think they said it was a 7 or 9% increase. They don't believe that that is do to the fact that there have been more sexual assaults, necessarily, than in recently years but that women are coming forward more, but the real truth is that most go un-reported.
It turns out that even if a female soldier comes forward and reports the sexual assault--chances are more likely that the attacker will be "kick-out" of the military but criminal charges will never reach him. About 9% of sexual assault cases ever reach the court in the military vs. the 40% of civilian cases.
As more and more women volunteer to be in military, the VA services are still not equipped to provide full and adequate service to their female soldiers. The report said that they are trying to make the changes but they are not happening quick enough. In comparing them to 10 years ago, not a lot has changed. One female veteran reported feeling very out of place trying to get help. She even said she got "cat-calls" as she walked down the hall as "if she were a candy-striper handing out cigarettes."
oh yes--women are COMPLETELY EQUAL aren't we
our American women are going over to war zones to risk their lives for our country and they are being attack from both sides! This is a disgrace how our female soldiers are being treated!
We have to support them.
We have to support women in every stage of life even if it does or it doesn't involve going into the military.
We should support the troops - Male and Female!
It turns out that even if a female soldier comes forward and reports the sexual assault--chances are more likely that the attacker will be "kick-out" of the military but criminal charges will never reach him. About 9% of sexual assault cases ever reach the court in the military vs. the 40% of civilian cases.
As more and more women volunteer to be in military, the VA services are still not equipped to provide full and adequate service to their female soldiers. The report said that they are trying to make the changes but they are not happening quick enough. In comparing them to 10 years ago, not a lot has changed. One female veteran reported feeling very out of place trying to get help. She even said she got "cat-calls" as she walked down the hall as "if she were a candy-striper handing out cigarettes."
oh yes--women are COMPLETELY EQUAL aren't we
our American women are going over to war zones to risk their lives for our country and they are being attack from both sides! This is a disgrace how our female soldiers are being treated!
We have to support them.
We have to support women in every stage of life even if it does or it doesn't involve going into the military.
We should support the troops - Male and Female!
Compromise
how many women do you know have compromised on something that they really wanted or have compromised on a part about themselves?
i know i have done it--ESPECIAL when there is a guy involved
i every relationship thus far i have compromised my priories, time, emotion, and energy is someway or another to please this other person. Why? there is a multitude of answers to this question i cam sure but the ones i can think of is--i have to please this person to validate myself.
Where the FUCK did i learn this?! Cause I KNOW for a FACT that this is not what my mother has been telling me FOR SURE-- but i picked up this idea from somewhere
maybe it was from some institutions-like my elementary teacher that told me to run and get some paper towels from the bathroom to clean up this mess that a fellow male student had spilled in the hallway or my daycare that separated the girls from the boys--the girls were to stay inside to clean the tables and the boys were to go out and play
Why? It is just what we are supposed to do. It is what is expected of us. What hope do I have of finding a equal partner?
My mom learned it from her Grandmother--in old age, it doesn't really matter that much anymore. We have our separate beds our separate rooms our separate lives. I see my mother going through the same thing.
You have to do it now; you have to become your own person and your own best friend now she tells me. Learn from my mistakes. My mom is a wonderful teacher. She has been a great inspiration to me and I know the same is true for my brothers as well as her college students. This might sound weird only because I'm not quite sure how to word it but I hope with experience and knowledge that I have gained I will be able to return the inspiration
A wise woman once told me "Never Compromise First" -Allison Black 09
i know i have done it--ESPECIAL when there is a guy involved
i every relationship thus far i have compromised my priories, time, emotion, and energy is someway or another to please this other person. Why? there is a multitude of answers to this question i cam sure but the ones i can think of is--i have to please this person to validate myself.
Where the FUCK did i learn this?! Cause I KNOW for a FACT that this is not what my mother has been telling me FOR SURE-- but i picked up this idea from somewhere
maybe it was from some institutions-like my elementary teacher that told me to run and get some paper towels from the bathroom to clean up this mess that a fellow male student had spilled in the hallway or my daycare that separated the girls from the boys--the girls were to stay inside to clean the tables and the boys were to go out and play
Why? It is just what we are supposed to do. It is what is expected of us. What hope do I have of finding a equal partner?
My mom learned it from her Grandmother--in old age, it doesn't really matter that much anymore. We have our separate beds our separate rooms our separate lives. I see my mother going through the same thing.
You have to do it now; you have to become your own person and your own best friend now she tells me. Learn from my mistakes. My mom is a wonderful teacher. She has been a great inspiration to me and I know the same is true for my brothers as well as her college students. This might sound weird only because I'm not quite sure how to word it but I hope with experience and knowledge that I have gained I will be able to return the inspiration
A wise woman once told me "Never Compromise First" -Allison Black 09
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