Dealing with loss

So-for the last couple of weeks-it has been Fine Arts Graduate Studio lectures where they present their thesis about their work, defend their work, and answer questions. I LOVE THESE!! I love to hear about other's work and their process. I love that they open the floor for questions too. I have gotten to go to 3 lectures this semester and I would have gone to more but they conflicted with my work schedule.
Anywho--
In 2 out of 3 lectures, the individuals were dealing with the loss of a close family member.
The first lecture was a ceramicist who was doing a lot of work based on parts of cars and working on cars--he talked about the open road of his drive home from Lubbock Texas to Tennessee--he used a lot of repetition in his work--told us he was talking about production--i say that like i dont believe him but that's not the case -- I just think there was more to it and that was when he said it-- 10 years ago his older brother died in a car crash--I was struck. I knew that he had lost a brother because he had gotten a tattoo of his name but I was trying to figure out if it was a older or younger brother and I had no idea it was in a car crash--i immediately thought about how horrible it would be to loose one of my brothers--I couldnt imagine
Then he told us that he NEVER keeps any of this work--he either destroys it or just discards it in the dumpster! In my mind- I made the connection that he was just reliving his brother's death over and over again--maybe not consciously--but he would make many beautiful pieces and then demise!
In the last lecture, a metalsmith started her talk with a fragmented childhood memory of her mother's death when she was just 6 years old. Her mother died of breast cancer and immediately she connected that with her feels of isolation and fear. And I felt her work did portray these feelings. She is about the same age as my older brother and they even know each other. I began to think about the loss of a parent and I dont know where I'd be if I didn't have my mom. My brother's and I have a father but not through illness. Well maybe a mental illness but nothing I think that could have been fixed with medication. And I begun to think about how my brother and I don't do work about loss. Are we ignoring it? Am I ignoring it? I feel as though we are better off but being with out both parents (and I'm not just talking about heterosexual parents) is always going to be the hardest option. Is it better to have no relationship than a sick one? I think so
Dealing with loss
So many factors are in play when it comes to behavior and reaction and interpretation.

Personalities
Gender Expectations
Racial Expectations
Family dynamic
Social Learning theories...

They were very emotional walks across campus to my car.